Finding Beauty in Scars

1b-Gods-Heart-for-You-by-Holley-Gerth

The scars of Jesus bring beauty and healing to our own.

When I see this quote, my mind goes to a very literal place: the long scar on my own back. I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 12, which meant I had a severe curve in my spine. It was shaped like an “s,” and doctors told my parents that without surgery, this problem would continue to the point that it could crowd my organs or become life-threatening. At age 12, with no pain in my back whatsoever, I had a surgery to put two stainless steel rods into my back, and a bone from my hip was fused along those rods to straighten me. After the surgery, I was straighter — but I have had pain every day since then.

Now in my 30s, I try not to think about it too much. As long as I exercise, that helps my back muscles feel more loose, but I can still feel the cold of winter or even when a rain storm is coming because my back hurts more than usual.

Every day, this is my scar that I have. When I buy a bathing suit, I think about which one will cover the scar best. When I bend over, I bend more from my hips, so that looks a little different than everyone else if you’re watching closely. Other than that, looking at me, no one would probably know that I have gone through this. Lifting a 25 pound toddler throughout the day has been interesting, and I’m stronger than I realized in that aspect. I’m so thankful for that.

Outwardly, no one knows unless I mention it, but of course, Christ knows this is part of me because he knows everything about me.

One positive thing is that when people are in pain, I understand what it means. My heart goes out to them. I get it. I think my scar makes me care more about others.

Each day is a new day to stay positive. In Heaven, this scar will no longer be a part of me, and I am excited about that. Meanwhile, I am so thankful that I am still able to live a very full and wonderful life. I am able to hike, swim, be a mom, travel, play a guitar (I just started taking lessons a month ago), and feed my mind with good books.

I can remember that on earth, Jesus had physical scars too. He was perfect, but his body was broken for us so that he could rise again and bring salvation to those who call upon him for it.

Besides the physical scars, so many of us — me included — also carry some emotional scars that we can call on Jesus to comfort and heal if it is his will. He makes the load lighter. Without faith, it would feel impossible to more forward. With faith, anything is possible. Aren’t you thankful for that?

With love,

Teresa

P.S. A lot of bloggers are doing a 31 day series this month. One that I have really enjoyed reading is about writing down your spiritual legacy. It’s at http://www.wheregivinghappens.com/. I don’t know this blogger personally, but I find so much truth in her writing.

The next Bloom Book Club is also starting this week with Annie Downs’ book Lets All Be Brave. I will be reading along 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Finding Beauty in Scars

  1. Love your perspective! My Mom had scoliosis and they told her she wouldn’t have kids or live past 40. She surpassed both, and I think the pain gave her insight to help others.
    Keep going and making a difference!

    • Wow, that is interesting to hear about your mom. I’m glad to hear that she proved the doctors wrong. I actually wasn’t sure if I should have a child or not either with my back problems, but fortunately I found a wonderful doctor at just the right time who told me that I could do it, even though I would not be able to have an epidural because I have too much scar tissue. Thank you again for encouraging me with your comment, Sarah 🙂 It’s good to think about how we’re connected with different struggles and also with our faith. Tell your mom “hi” from me.

  2. Pingback: Let’s All Be Brave | mamamuseme

  3. Pingback: Goodbye, 2015! Hello, 2016. | Mama Muse Me

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